Hoes Love Jesus, Too

Ask a woman about the things she looks for in her potential mate. Most women have this exhaustive (unrealistic) check-list of positive traits that no one man could ever hit "Select All" on. The list usually go something like:

Attractive

Honest

Intelligent

Faithful

Conversationalist

Romantic

Likes to cuddle

Blah
Blah
Blah

And if she's a Christian woman (or any woman of faith, for that matter), throw something in there about him being of the same faith with some arbitrary level of spirituality. Christian women tend to base a man's level of spiritually off how often he goes to church. If he goes every Sunday then voilà ---> Mr. Got Damn Right!

Unfortuantely ladies (and gents).......HOES LOVE JESUS, TOO.

I've debated for the longest how to get this point across...

Defining "hoe"
To adequately define that would take another blog and a significant amount of time. After several conversations with make-shift focus groups, the point is clear: "hoe" is a HIGHLY subjective term.

Asking random people to define hoe is actually an EXCELLENT conversation starter. Try it one day.

The best I've been able to forge thus far is:

hoe \ hō \ (noun): a male or female with some societally unacceptable level of promiscuity

I also like how @BluuDemize put it. Something to the effect of

"Women can't define hoe. They just know they ain't one."

....although HE never gave a definition either. Side eye.

It may also be used as an adjective or an adverb, but....that's for another time.


Hoes love God, and God loves hoes
Throughout the Bible, there were prostitutes (Biblical hoes). Some of them were winning.

Hosea 1:2: When the Lord began to speak through Hosea, the Lord said to him, “Go, marry a promiscuous woman and have children with her..."

Judeges 11:1:  Jephthah the Gileadite was a mighty warrior. His father was Gilead; his mother was a prostitute.

1 Kings 14:24: There were even male shrine prostitutes in the land...

Joshua 2:1: Then Joshua son of Nun secretly sent two spies from Shittim. “Go, look over the land,” he said, “especially Jericho. ” So they went and entered the house of a prostitute named Rahab and stayed there. Then in Joshua 2:14 they told her: "If you don’t tell what we are doing, we will treat you kindly and faithfully when the Lord gives us the land.”

More prostitutes in the Bible: http://noreligionblog.wordpress.com/2010/03/31/top-thirteen-prostitutes-of-the-bible/  It's amazing how much one can learn from atheists about the Bible. I dig it.

Then of course, there's Mary Magdalene. But nothing in the Bible ever said she was a prostitute. Just that 7 demons were eradicated from her. Be it as it may, Mary loved Jesus and Jesus loved her back.


Anyway, the  Whole Point of this Blog:
The amount of time a person spends in church is not directly proportional to

• how close his or her walk is with God,
• the likelihood he or she will not cheat on you, nor
• how good he or she will treat you.

Per bullet two, hoes can love Jesus/God/the Holy Spirit, too. And yes, they can even get married and give birth to strong warriors...

...however, it saddens me when women get their hopes up over a man just because he goes to church every Sunday. There's that slight possibility that he's there every Sunday because he's praying that he didn't become a daddy Saturday night. (BTW, I have no clue if men have this notion that women that go to church every Sunday are better than those that do not. Feel free to fill me in.)

Be blessed!