Listen baby, I'm your man and I love you. Ever since the first time we met I realized that we were meant to be together because I felt emotions around you I’ve NEVER felt around ANY woman at ANY time before. You are the first woman who made me consider how pointless my non-committal lifestyle was, but even more, you are the first woman who made me forget all my past heartbreaks and realize that I still wanted to feel what love is. You’ll never understand how hard it is for me to not feel your lips before I go to sleep and as I wake up – that kiss is the most sensual expression of my emotions but when the sex switch is flipped:
I just HAVE to beat that pussy up.
The sex switch is flipped just after we lock lips with closed eyes and we press them together softly yet firm enough to know we both meant that shit. The switch flips in both of our minds when we realize that neither of us is gonna pull away and it’s just at that moment that our brains realize we ain’t JUST kissing tonight, and our tongues instinctively find one another and we engulf each other in passion. Once that switch is flipped, my left hand is gonna go from gently cradling the back of your neck to firmly gripping the back of your head, and my right hand is gonna glide down the middle of your back and land right on your ass. You are gonna feel me gripping it hard because that’s MY way of letting you know:
Your ass is mine tonight.
Once that sex switch is flipped though, please understand you are not my beautiful, loving woman anymore – you're the sexiest person I've ever met and I’m bout to beat the brakes off that pussy. Once I flip that switch all I want to do is make you cum – all over. I want to feel your entire body shake as you scream cuss words I never even knew you knew. I want you so wet that you soak the entire bed. I want you to grit your teeth and cuss me out:
Every time you have another multiple.
I want you sweaty and horny but more than anything I flip the switch because I want you NASTY. All day we parade around under a veil of politeness and socially correct behavior. But once I'm alone with the one I love, I don’t want to be polite and nice anymore. I want to feel free - and nothing is more free than getting butt-ass-naked and FUCKING you in ways your pussy wasn’t even prepared for. I’m gonna start slow and deep, speed it up a little as I beat it up a little:
I want us to cum together – all over each other and fall down on the bed drenched in sweat.
Then I want to roll over, look you in the eyes, turn the sex switch off and lock lips softly with you again. My woman. The one I love. But the second you look up at me with even the slightest amount of lust in your eyes:
I’m turning the switch back on and I'm coming for your ass...
Champ
Cruisin' Thru Decatur
An OCD stream-of-consciousness about everything, yet absolutely nothing.
Friday, March 22, 2013
Thursday, March 14, 2013
East-Side Tales - per @MFWC1981
I want to begin by thanking Danesha (@EDIBLU for you niggas on twitta) for this opportunity. I'm too damn lazy to start my own blog so I figured I'd leech off of hers and Pooh is doing what she does right now so I've got some extra time on my hands until she gets back. Oh, I'm also too lazy to think up titles so I'm gonna use random B.o.B songs instead until I run out. I love reppin' the homies (In my Chris Rock voice).
I guess this is the part where I need to warn people that I have no filter.
SO READER(s) BEWARE!
So me and a mixed group of friends were having a discussion about cheating and reconciling, and we all came to the very obvious conclusion that men have a much harder time getting back into a relationship with a woman who has cheated on them, than women getting back with men who cheated. We floated many different theories around until my boy decided to shut the conversation down with a sentence straight from real-talk.com. He said:
“Let’s keep it real people, no dude wants to take a woman back that he THINKS was fucked by a nigga BIGGER & BETTER than him.”
He continued “The thought of some dude writing his name on parts of her pussy walls that you can’t even reach to erase is demoralizing as shit. Y’all gonna be sitting around 50 years from now in some nursing home, and she still gonna have to take pills every day it rains, because some nigga collapsed her womb decades ago...
Who wants that shit?"
We all paused to let the realness wash over us and to accept how truly pathetic yet accurate that statement was. From a man’s perspective I hate to admit that our ego’s are so entangled in something as insignificant as size and sexual performance but I realized that it’s not that far of a jump. Men WILL tie their self-worth in a relationship to how satisfied they believe their partner is in the bed, so it’s NOT a monumental stretch. But are men so insecure of said performance to let it be the determining factor in taking someone back?
Yep. We are.
Let’s be honest about something else while we are at it: A woman's disgust upon hearing her man cheated is about 40% due to the physical act, but 60% is about the distrust, disrespect and total disregard for the emotional and spiritual bond they are suppose to have as a fully committed couple. And very rarely do women think about the physical act in terms of “Damn did she deep throat him when I can only get half-way, and did she squirt for him when my 'tang is usually dryer than Tracey Morgan’s bottom lip?” She usually thinks:
"I need to get my ass to the clinic because if him and this dirty little heffa gave me something, I'ma KILL this nigga!”
But because the majority of her pain is emotional and psychological, she can find herself forgiving him through time and eventually taking him back because as her emotions swing back and forth, so does the balance of their relationship. With a man, it couldn’t be any more different because we INTERTWINE our emotions with the physical act itself. There ain’t no 40 or 60% with a man, it’s just 100:
"So this bitch just gonna let this nigga run up in her like that? FUCK HER!” *Sniffles with a quivering upper lip*
This is the same reason most men can’t handle a TRUE open relationship. We love the concept as it relates to how open WE can be, but a man’s ego will NOT allow him to handle the thought of his woman getting her walls stretched outta shape by some other dude. As insecure and ridiculous as it is, It’s understandable that a guy wouldn’t want to be looked at like the Cayman Islands Earthquake after the Haiti one.
Champ
Cruisin' Thru Decatur
I guess this is the part where I need to warn people that I have no filter.
SO READER(s) BEWARE!
So me and a mixed group of friends were having a discussion about cheating and reconciling, and we all came to the very obvious conclusion that men have a much harder time getting back into a relationship with a woman who has cheated on them, than women getting back with men who cheated. We floated many different theories around until my boy decided to shut the conversation down with a sentence straight from real-talk.com. He said:
“Let’s keep it real people, no dude wants to take a woman back that he THINKS was fucked by a nigga BIGGER & BETTER than him.”
He continued “The thought of some dude writing his name on parts of her pussy walls that you can’t even reach to erase is demoralizing as shit. Y’all gonna be sitting around 50 years from now in some nursing home, and she still gonna have to take pills every day it rains, because some nigga collapsed her womb decades ago...
Who wants that shit?"
We all paused to let the realness wash over us and to accept how truly pathetic yet accurate that statement was. From a man’s perspective I hate to admit that our ego’s are so entangled in something as insignificant as size and sexual performance but I realized that it’s not that far of a jump. Men WILL tie their self-worth in a relationship to how satisfied they believe their partner is in the bed, so it’s NOT a monumental stretch. But are men so insecure of said performance to let it be the determining factor in taking someone back?
Yep. We are.
Let’s be honest about something else while we are at it: A woman's disgust upon hearing her man cheated is about 40% due to the physical act, but 60% is about the distrust, disrespect and total disregard for the emotional and spiritual bond they are suppose to have as a fully committed couple. And very rarely do women think about the physical act in terms of “Damn did she deep throat him when I can only get half-way, and did she squirt for him when my 'tang is usually dryer than Tracey Morgan’s bottom lip?” She usually thinks:
"I need to get my ass to the clinic because if him and this dirty little heffa gave me something, I'ma KILL this nigga!”
But because the majority of her pain is emotional and psychological, she can find herself forgiving him through time and eventually taking him back because as her emotions swing back and forth, so does the balance of their relationship. With a man, it couldn’t be any more different because we INTERTWINE our emotions with the physical act itself. There ain’t no 40 or 60% with a man, it’s just 100:
"So this bitch just gonna let this nigga run up in her like that? FUCK HER!” *Sniffles with a quivering upper lip*
This is the same reason most men can’t handle a TRUE open relationship. We love the concept as it relates to how open WE can be, but a man’s ego will NOT allow him to handle the thought of his woman getting her walls stretched outta shape by some other dude. As insecure and ridiculous as it is, It’s understandable that a guy wouldn’t want to be looked at like the Cayman Islands Earthquake after the Haiti one.
Champ
Cruisin' Thru Decatur
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Bitches Love Smiley Faces
Ladies,
Never trust a man that sends an inordinate amount of smiley faces in text messages if yall are not in a relationship.
I am a firm believer that men who send excessive smiley faces during the initial "getting-to-know-you" phase are male whores...or at least embody male whore tendencies.
Full disclosure: I am a cynic.
However, I don't think that's important...but feel free to take this text with a grain of salt, if you wish.
Full disclosure: I am a cynic.
However, I don't think that's important...but feel free to take this text with a grain of salt, if you wish.
Why Bitches* Love Smiley Faces:
*in this text, bitches refer to swarms of nameless, gullible, probably sweet (as well as equally desperate) women
Smiley faces (or text faces, period) play at women's emotions. The happier text faces, such as...
Smiley faces (or text faces, period) play at women's emotions. The happier text faces, such as...
- :-)
- :-D
- :-*
- :-P
...are most efficient. These are basically visual endorphins that prompt the release of serotonin - the happy hormone - and give bitches* the feeling that the guy is genuinely happy and cares.
True enough, he may very well be as nice and genuine as the one hunnit smiley faces he's sent you. But if yall are not in a relationship, then what makes you think YOU are the only woman he is SMSing these small gifts of happiness?
I've also heard countless women say things to the effect of "He sent me smiley faces; he really likes me." Apparently, I missed the moment in text evolution where the smiley face could be interpreted as "He really likes me."
I, too, have fell victim to wanting to believe it means something more so badly. It doesn't. The smiley face is nothing more than a once innocent text symbol that has been desecrated into a tool to woo a woman's panties off.
The winky face is in a catergory of its own. I'm inclined to say that - depending on the context of the winky face - the men that send these have the most abundant whore tendencies.
It's saying "Wait until I see you again...It's. Going. Down." It REEKS sex! ...not that enjoying sex makes a man a whore...again, I just don't believe a man that isn't in a relationship is going to be monogomous with his winky faces.
If he sends you a winky face, he might as well have sent you a dick pic.
Well...maybe it's not that bad. But yes, tread softly.
Thank God I don't have an iPhone. (#TeamDroid) Otherwise, I could write a book on those emoticons. But I shall end it here for now.
Be blessed!
True enough, he may very well be as nice and genuine as the one hunnit smiley faces he's sent you. But if yall are not in a relationship, then what makes you think YOU are the only woman he is SMSing these small gifts of happiness?
I've also heard countless women say things to the effect of "He sent me smiley faces; he really likes me." Apparently, I missed the moment in text evolution where the smiley face could be interpreted as "He really likes me."
I, too, have fell victim to wanting to believe it means something more so badly. It doesn't. The smiley face is nothing more than a once innocent text symbol that has been desecrated into a tool to woo a woman's panties off.
The winky face ;-)
The winky face is in a catergory of its own. I'm inclined to say that - depending on the context of the winky face - the men that send these have the most abundant whore tendencies.
It's saying "Wait until I see you again...It's. Going. Down." It REEKS sex! ...not that enjoying sex makes a man a whore...again, I just don't believe a man that isn't in a relationship is going to be monogomous with his winky faces.
If he sends you a winky face, he might as well have sent you a dick pic.
Well...maybe it's not that bad. But yes, tread softly.
Thank God I don't have an iPhone. (#TeamDroid) Otherwise, I could write a book on those emoticons. But I shall end it here for now.
Be blessed!
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