Residual Bitches

Supposed to be applying for jobs in which the rest of my future depend on, but sidetracked again... Damn you, right-brain.

I recently tweeted about how I believe many men (AND women) adamantly attempt to be faithful but get caught up letting the "residual bitch(es)" go. The purpose of this blog is to explain exactly what I meant by the term "residual bitch."

Defining residual bitch (RB) (will be given in terms of a female since it is the more often associated with the gender): A residual bitch can be thought of as either the remnant of or understudy to a side chick. Side chicks only exist when there is a main chick; RBs, however, can exist without regard to relationship status. Here, I have provided a Venn-diagram for your reference:

Figure 1
* The middle area denotes the promotion/demotion area.
* Relationshiper - the relationship employer; the person engaging the relationship



Exploring the role of the residual bitch:
1. The RB is conveniently at the relationshiper's disposal whenever the relationshiper needs his/her ego stroked. The ambitions of moving up the ladder into a main or side role drives the RB to to say things that he/she believes will get him/her there. So those times when the bf/gf isn't acting right, and the relationshiper is in need of a little attention, the RB is only one "Hey Boo" text away from giving the relationshiper all the attention wanted.

2. Fresh off a break up, the RB may escalate to the rebound, especially when there are no side pieces to fill the role immediately. The RB is the IRA of bitches = taking a Plan B even after using a condom and birth control correctly = the back up plan for the back up plan. 

It's low-rate bitch insurance.


The relationshiper will feed the RB just enough crumbs to keep the RB's stomach from growling. I'm reminded of  @KardinalRule's tweet about how hoes will give up the sex for "But YO...a GM text, 3 mentions, and a subtweet." In the case of the RB, these "crumbs" are all it takes to keep them holding on....amaranthine hopes of being sexed into a side position. Unfortunately, this is also what makes complete eradication of the RB difficult. To give up this low-rate insurance plan for a person that it may or MAY NOT work out with leads to an unnerving sense of finality. Starting from square one if a relationship doesn't work out is a headache. Going back through the process of establishing new side chicks/residual bitches gets old.

3. Ego-stroking and rebounding are really the only two roles of the RB. The RB may be utilized when arbitrary time needs to be passed (e.g. sitting in the waiting room at auto shop while getting an alignment).


But alas, I shall end it here. Love is not cursed by monogamy... However, I do believe that being faithful in a relationship and eventually falling in love can be halted by thoughts of the confinement (finality) associated with monogamy - induced secondary to letting go of the residual bitch(es).