What's really more important before deciding to bring a child into the world - being married or financially stable???
Think on it before you proceed.
Still thinking?
Now, why did you choose that answer over the other?
Done yet?
Okay.....my turn.
I want to yell "FINANCIALLY STABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" from the mountain tops, buuuuuttt.....I have reasons to think marriage would be more important as well.
MARRIAGE
I certainly see myself being married before I have a child. I consider myself Christian, so per my beliefs I should be married before procreating the good old fashioned way. However, if I lived as I should per my beliefs, I'd be a completely different person. I try to walk the straight and narrow, but it's more like I'm walking on a turnpike. Anyway, enough of my spiritual struggles. I could write a book on those.
I was raised in a two-parent home with loving, married parents (loving towards us anyway....as far as each other...it just depended on the day. Haha) It's a beautiful thing to have love coming from both parents. They weren't balling at all, but my sisters and I still had all of the essentials and a little more. However, it came at a price. All of us - parents and children - had to sacrifice different things occasionally because it was best for the whole.
Not knocking having to sacrifice at all.... Lessons were learned. Humility was taught. I turned out awesome.
I'd just rather not go through those times from the mirrored side if I don't have to. #AndThenIKanyeShrug
MONEY
All the love in the world ain't buying diapers, formula, clothes, food, rent, etc... Romanticizing that "Just-the-two-of-us" feeling into thinking that we can get through anything is sweet n'shyt, but uh...I'd rather get through without the financial problems, at least.
Gotta backtrack for a second: I'm not saying I need to be RICH before having a child. I said FINANCIALLY STABLE. And what's financially stable to one person may be questionable to the next. It's SUBJECTIVE. My loose definition of financially stable would be to have at least a 3-month rainy day fund built up, a comfortable amount in savings, and a secure job/career that is constantly feeding my checking account before I bring a life into this world. (Not to mention having a house that I'm making steady payments on along with a dependable vehicle.) And yes...I know nothing is guaranteed to be a particular way forever. Anything could occur and wipe out all of my savings....but at least I tried!
THE BS HAPPY MEDIUM I COME UP WITH AT THE END TO LET YOU KNOW YOUR OPPOSING VIEW DOESN'T COMPLETELY SUCK
I think the key words in the question are "deciding" and "stable."
- In this day and age, half (or more) pregnancies are unplanned. It's gotta be difficult to say what's more important once you see that plus sign on the stick.
- Stability is based on personal beliefs. Some people find stability in marriage. Others find stability in money. As long as you're stable somewhere is what's really important, I suppose.
I've been waiting on this post. It is here, and I love it like a brand new baby boy.
ReplyDeleteU touched on two points that I believe can answer this question (both of which sorta conflict with each other btw). One is a key word in the question being "deciding". The other is that half or more pregnancies are unplanned. I would argue that God ultimately decides when a person will become pregnant (or if they will at all) so it's not really up to you whether ur financially stable at the time or not. Example: u can plan it perfectly with a 3 bedroom house, husband, steady job and everything. But what if u have triplets? What if your husband leaves you? What if your job is outsourced? You don't necessarily have control over that type of stuff. You do however have control over who you sleep with to create a new life in this world. So I say COMPLETE love and trust in the person you decide to lay with is the most essential need before a baby enters the picture . Married or not. With money or without.
ReplyDelete